Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
