I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
