this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I need to align my fucking chakras
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
