They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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