What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
