I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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