absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
