I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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