Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
