Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
