lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
