He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
