What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i came on her dog
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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