I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
