Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
