ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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