Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
