I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
