forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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