please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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