The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
