I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
