im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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