There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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