Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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