just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
