you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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