This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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