i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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