I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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