I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
