Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
