i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
