oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
