Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
