Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
