That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
