C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
