Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
