I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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