You really coming over, don't trick.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize