If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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