what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize