I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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