it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
