My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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