she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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