Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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