I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
