bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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