the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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