Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
