So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
