quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
