gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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