$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize