goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
