Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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