Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
