It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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