so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
