you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
