Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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