Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It's Friday. Sex?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
