I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
